As the holiday season approaches, the spirit of Christmas fills the air with warmth, joy, and stress about the upcoming festivities.
What? You thought I would just ignore the stress? Nope, we have to talk about it in order to move it along out of our nervous systems. Talking about the stress is part of finding ways to relax!
Amidst the flurry of activities, gatherings, and traditions, creating a harmonious holiday can feel overwhelming for parents. However, by harnessing the Adaptive Parenting Framework you can pave the way for a truly joyful and relaxing Christmas for your family.
Connection: Fostering Meaningful Bonds
At the heart of the holiday season lies the essence of togetherness. This can be both stressful and relaxing, depending on the people you are connecting with! Use this time to strengthen connections with your children, and to help regulate their nervous systems. Engage in activities that promote bonding, such as decorating the tree together, baking cookies, or participating in charitable initiatives as a family, and avoid activities that you and your kids find super stressful. Plan those events into your schedule rather than hoping they will happen organically, and if you have teens give them plenty of warning so they don't make plans with friends.
It can be tempting to try and attend many events or accept all the invitations to make the most of the season. Becoming too busy can add stress to both parents and children, and make it more difficult to have those genuine, authentic relationships we want to foster. Prioritize quality time, ensuring that amidst the festivities, you're nurturing deeper connections.
Consistency: Establishing Rituals and Routines
Often children become more dysregulated than usual during the holidays, and there can be more anger outbursts or even crying over something that your child wouldn't usually notice. One of the reasons this happens is the disruption from regular routines. There are changes to their schedule at school, at home, and often in extracurricular activities like dance recitals or school concerts. Children often find comfort in familiar rhythms, so try to preserve essential routines whereever possible. Whether it's bedtime rituals or morning routines, consistency offers stability amidst the excitement of the holidays, contributing to a more relaxed atmosphere.
Uniqueness: Embracing Individual Traditions
Each family holds its unique traditions that make Christmas special. Encourage the celebration of these unique customs, whether it's a specific dish like yams baked with marshmallows on top, or a family movie night. You can create new traditions too, ones that better serve your family and life. Maybe cookie decorating is a favourite in your house, or maybe it's having a Mario Kart tournament. Embracing and honouring these distinctive traditions strengthens family identity and creates cherished memories that endure beyond the holiday season.
Understanding: Adopting Flexibility and Empathy
Expect the unexpected. Despite your best efforts, unforeseen circumstances will arise. The garlic bread might burn in the oven or the spaghetti noodles might get dumped down the drain (true story!), and adopting a stance of flexibility and adaptability will make the unfortunate event into something your family will laugh about in years to come. Understand that not everything will go according to plan, and that's okay. When you approach challenges with empathy, you are teaching children the value of understanding and resilience during unexpected moments.
Crafting a Harmonious Christmas
By weaving these components - connection, consistency, uniqueness, and understanding - into the fabric of your holiday celebrations, you're laying the foundation for a harmonious and joyful Christmas. Remember, the essence of the season lies not in perfection but in the love, warmth, and shared moments with loved ones.
As you prepare for the festivities, keep in mind that the most meaningful gifts are often intangible - laughter, love, and the bonds that grow stronger during this special time of year.
Here's to a Christmas filled with warmth, joy, and the magic of family!
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